What to Notice, What to Ask, and When to Act
Let’s start with something we all know, but don’t always love to say out loud.
We’re getting older.
Not old-old. Not “hand me my walker” old. Just… older. With that reality comes the very real possibility that at some point, life may need to look a little different than it does today.
Most of my clients see three basic options ahead of them:
- Staying in your home, which may eventually involve a caregiver—and often a small supporting cast that includes lawn care, snow removal, house maintenance, and someone who knows where the breaker box is.
- Moving to an independent living community, many of which are surprisingly luxurious. (I’ve toured places that rival nice hotels—minus the tiny shampoo bottles.)
- Moving into assisted living, where more hands-on support is available as needs change.
None of these options is “better” than the others across the board. The right choice depends on you, your health, your preferences, your finances, and—this part matters—your timing.
I really can’t say it better than I heard my friend Gregory “Moose” Penfold say it at a conference I hosted, so I asked him if I could pass along his wisdom to you.
Moose is currently a marketing director at a large Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC) with over 15 years of experience across all types of senior communities, including independent living, assisted living, skilled care, and memory care. He’s seen what works beautifully, what works temporarily, and what people wish they’d done sooner.
His advice about this getting older business is refreshingly simple:
“Do the right thing, at the right time, for the right reasons.”
Not because someone is pushing you or because something has gone wrong, but because you’re choosing your next chapter with intention.
To help us along, Moose recommends relying on our senses when choosing a senior living community, and I’ve passed this advice along to many clients.
What Do You See? (Faces matter!)
It’s important to tour communities in person. Not just once, and not just for the sales pitch.
When you walk through the door, slow down and really look around.
Look at the residents.
- Do they look engaged?
- Are they interacting with each other?
- Do they look comfortable being there?
Now look at the staff.
- Are they smiling?
- Making eye contact?
- Calling residents by name?
Those faces will tell you a story long before anyone hands you a brochure. Genuine enjoyment is hard to fake. You’ll feel it when it’s real.
What Do You Smell? (I’ll bet you knew this one was coming.)
I’ve been in a lot of senior communities over the years, and I can say this with confidence:
Your nose knows.
Strong odors can be a sign of understaffing, rushed care, or systems that aren’t working well. Don’t get me wrong, communities don’t have to smell like a spa. They just shouldn’t smell like something you’re trying not to think about.
A clean, neutral smell usually means:
- Adequate staffing
- Good housekeeping systems
- Attention to resident dignity
This isn’t being picky. You might live here, and you’re allowed to notice things.
What Do You Hear? (And what are people willing to tell you?)
As you walk through a community, listen.
Do you hear:
- Constant alarms?
- Repeated calls for help?
- Irritated or unprofessional conversations?
Or do you hear:
- Conversation
- Laughter
- Music
- Normal, everyday life sounds
Then take it a step further. Strike up a conversation with a resident!
- Ask how the food is
- Ask which activities they enjoy
- Ask if they feel supported and respected
If possible, eat a meal there, and join an activity.
Visit more than once, and at different times of day.
Listen to how staff speak to residents—and how residents speak to staff.
Those interactions matter!
The Questions You’re Allowed—and Encouraged—to Ask
Once you’ve gotten a feel for a community—by visiting, listening, eating a meal, and talking with residents—it’s time to shift from impressions to information.
These questions aren’t nosy, and a quality community will be eager to provide this information.
#1: What Is Your CMS Rating—and What Does It Tell Me?
CMS stands for Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services. This rating reflects health inspections, staffing levels, and quality measures, and it is reflected in a 1-to-5 score, with 5 being the highest.
It’s not the only thing to consider, but it gives you an independent snapshot of how a community is performing. A strong rating often points to consistent staffing and solid care practices.
#2: Are You a For-Profit or Non-Profit Community?
This matters more than people realize.
- For-profit communities are accountable to owners or shareholders.
- Non-profit communities typically reinvest surplus funds back into staffing, programs, and facility improvements.
Neither is automatically better, but understanding the structure helps you understand priorities.
#3: Who Owns the Community—and How Long Has It Been in Business?
Stability matters.
A community with consistent ownership and a long history is more likely to have established systems, experienced leadership, and predictable operations. Frequent ownership changes can sometimes mean frequent changes in policies, staffing, or care models.
#4: Can I See a Copy of the Contract Before I Commit?
Always ask for the contract before signing—and take it home to read.
There are generally three types:
- Life Care (or Lifetime): Higher upfront costs, but more predictable long-term expenses
- Modified: Some services included; others cost extra
- Fee-for-Service: Lower upfront cost, but fees increase as care needs increase
Understanding which type you’re considering helps avoid surprises later.
#5: What Does Your Fee Schedule Look Like as Care Needs Change?
Ask for a clear explanation of:
- Base monthly fees
- How and when costs increase
- What triggers a move to a higher level of care
You don’t need to memorize every number, but you should understand the structure.
#6: Do You Accept My Insurance—and Will You Help Process It?
Ask specifically:
- Do you accept long-term care insurance?
- Will staff assist with claims and paperwork?
This can save you time, frustration, and money later.
#7: How Does Medicare Work Here After an Illness or Injury?
Medicare typically covers rehab services for a limited time:
- The full cost of the first 20 days
- A partial amount of the next 80 days
After that, care is usually private pay. Knowing how a community handles this transition helps you plan realistically.
#8: What Levels of Care Do You Offer—and How Do Transitions Work?
Ask:
- What’s the difference between independent living, assisted living, skilled nursing, and memory care here?
- How often are care needs reassessed?
- What happens if I need more help down the road?
The smoother the transition process, the less disruption later.
#9: How Likely Is Availability When I Actually Need It?
This is a big one. Ask:
- Is there a waitlist?
- How long is it typically?
- Are certain levels of care harder to access than others?
Planning ahead often means fewer compromises later.
When you combine good information with a good feeling, you’re far more likely to do the right thing, at the right time, for the right reasons.
When Moose speaks, he always follows his helpful checklist with a personal story.
It is about a couple who had been married for 56 years. They’re the kind of people who planned carefully, did things “the right way,” saved diligently, stayed organized, and took pride in being responsible, especially when it came to their family and their future.
What they didn’t plan for were the very last chapters.
At first, nothing felt urgent.
A few lost keys.
A couple of unpaid bills.
A sink left running that flooded the basement.
Annoying. Inconvenient. Easy to laugh off.
“Just one of those days,” everyone said.
Then things changed. Slowly. Quietly.
A red light missed.
A small accident.
More family conversations that ended with, “We’re fine.”
But they weren’t. Not really. Everyone could feel it, even if no one said it out loud.
Over time, both of them needed memory care.
Just not the same kind.
One needed skilled nursing.
One didn’t.
And with no plan in place, there weren’t many choices left to make.
So they moved–one to a skilled nursing facility, and the other to a senior community.
After 56 years of marriage, they were living apart.
The logistics made it tough to visit each other.
They saw each other twice more.
Then one of them was gone.
That couple was Moose’s parents.
It’s why he does the work he does—not to scare people into making decisions too early and not to push anyone before they’re ready, but to encourage families to do the right thing, at the right time, for the right reasons, while there are still choices, flexibility, and the ability to shape what those later chapters look like.
I share Moose’s advice and the story of his parents because I see the same patterns every day in my work.
As a professional organizer and senior advisor, I help seniors make thoughtful transitions before stress takes over and options shrink.
You don’t need to decide everything today.
But asking the right questions—at the right time, for the right reasons—can help ensure that your next chapter is one you step into with confidence.
When you’re ready for help navigating that process, I’m here.
| Is it time to downsize? Maybe you are one of my future clients! If you’ve been considering what your next chapter might look like but you’re just not sure if you’re ready, I have a resource for you! Take this 3-minute quiz to get clarity on emotional readiness, household organization, and long-term planning. Click here to take the quiz. |
ABOUT JILL HART
Some of Jill Hart’s fondest memories are with her grandmother—quiet moments that shaped her lifelong respect for older adults and the stories they carry. Years later, she combined that heart with her skills in organizing and real estate, finding her calling in helping seniors and their families downsize with clarity, compassion, and care.
Jill is a Seniors Real Estate Specialist® (SRES®) and Certified Senior Advisor® (CSA®), recognized with the National Association of Realtors’ SRES® Outstanding Service to Seniors Award. What began as local, hands-on work in Henderson County has grown into something bigger: a trusted voice and guide for families, professionals, and audiences across the country.
Today, Jill’s Henderson County team continues serving clients one-on-one, while Jill shares her expertise through speaking, writing, and coaching—making one of life’s hardest transitions feel lighter and more hopeful.
For more tools and support, visit www.DownsizingWithHart.com.