A beginner’s guide to taking the first step
in simplifying your life
Whether you are thinking about a downsizing move or just want to tame the clutter around your house, downsizing your belongings saves time and money, is environmentally friendly, and helps support emotional well-being.
Downsizing is a positive experience
Making the decision yourself to start downsizing is empowering. Don’t let others push you to begin making changes in your environment. Getting started on your own will allow you to be the one making the decisions about your possessions. By initiating the downsizing process, yourself, while you are still able to make decisions, can also reduce the angst that many people feel when thinking about planned or unplanned transitions that may be in their future.
Researchers at Princeton University found that a cluttered environment can negatively impact cognitive functioning. This includes your ability to focus on matters at hand. An overcrowded environment can also lead to increased stress. They found that spending less time managing possessions provides flexibility to pursue hobbies and passions that you enjoy, thereby reducing stress. Add to those reasons the fact that a decluttered home makes hosting friends and family easier which combats loneliness, a major cause of depression in older adults.
In addition to the information reviewed above, when you have fewer belongings:
• you spend less time cleaning and organizing
• you are less likely to waste time looking for things
• you won’t waste time trying to figure out where to put things away
• you spend less on maintenance, storage, and repairs.
When your space is downsized and organized, you are more thoughtful and intentional about the things you purchase. You will find that the things you are adding to your environment fit better with your current needs.
It would most likely surprise most people to learn of the large number of usable items that are sent to the landfill when a clean out is done quickly. When this happens, the problem is that there is a no time to set up an estate sale or to get the goods to the donation centers of your choice.
And, what may be one of the most important considerations, by making decisions and decluttering over time, you are able to control how things are distributed. You get to decide how and when your possessions are distributed. As we get older one of the hardest things we have to adapt to is losing some control over our lives. Whether it is our ability to take strenuous hikes or drive a car, there are realities that come with aging that are not always pleasant.
However, being able to be the decision maker on those items that have had the most sentimental value to you in your lifetime can be very gratifying and can bring a great deal of satisfaction
Taking your first steps towards decluttering your world
You know the old saying about the “How do you eat an Elephant?” And the answer is, “one bite at a time”. That is as true a statement about how to start downsizing and decluttering as you will find. People fail sometimes before they even begin because they try to do the entire job at once. They become literally paralyzed by the huge job they see ahead. They allow themselves to be so overwhelmed that they never get started at all.
My advice to you: Start small!
Instead of trying to declutter your whole house at once, break it down into small steps. Some good places to start:
• Tackle the space under your bathroom sink – refill and use or trash that lotion bottle that is so empty it won’t pump anymore.
• Clean out your refrigerator – ditch those capers you bought for a recipe in 2017 and haven’t used since.
• Dig into your sock drawer – toss those socks with no match.
Then, STOP, give yourself a pat on the back and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that comes from finishing something you started.
The other benefit that comes with the completion of each small step is that you are starting to build and strengthen your “decision making muscle”. Most people don’t think of decision making as something that has to be practiced, but it does. The more you make decisions and then follow through the more inspired and independent you will feel.
And, the more you make decisions about what to keep and what to give up, the easier it gets.
Make a schedule and stick to it
Putting things in writing (or these days you might be typing into a computer), helps to organize your mind. There is nothing better than making a list and then putting those wonderful check marks next to items as they are finished. Make sure your schedule is not just a list of to-do items, but includes breaking things down in daily increments. What small area do you want to clean out tomorrow, and the next day? Don’t overdo it in the beginning. Build your process by starting with small areas and goals, then work your way up to items that are more emotionally charged.
Keep your expectations realistic
As you are sorting remember the 80/20 rule. Americans tend to use 20% of their belonging 80% of the time. That’s an eye-opening statistic, isn’t it? That means that out of 100 items of clothing, we will typically wear 20 of them MOST OF THE TIME! The rest hang in the closet…or stay draped over the exercise equipment. 🙂
I’m not saying you should get rid of 80% of your stuff but I would suggest that you start to pay attention to the things you use day in and day out – you may be surprised at how much you don’t use.
Being raised in a household with depression era grandparents, I understand the value that generation placed on quality items that were passed down with great pride from generation to generation. Items given away were looked at not only as beautiful pieces to have in your home, but they were also seen as investments that could be turned back into money one day, when needed. People would expect to get a good price for quality items. That principle was instilled in me and maybe in you too.
Today, our fast-paced society emphasizes trends, convenience and flexibility. Older generations are passing away with a house full of treasures, but their children don’t want to be tied down with a big house full of things that belonged to their parents and grandparents. All of that stuff has to go somewhere, and it is increasingly going to the second-hand market, which is becoming more and more saturated. Click here to find out more about the second hand market.
Remember, there is more than one way to do this
If you have expensive items that you no longer use or want, start by talking to your family members. It is quick and easy to take a picture of the item(s) and email or text them the opportunity to take if off your hands. It will be a blessing for them to receive and you will get to witness their joy from this unexpected, but thoughtful, gift.
If you prefer to sell your items, there are many options you can consider. Estate sales, yard sales, consignment stores, local auction houses, Ebay/Facebook/other online auction sites, and word of mouth. It may take some time to prepare your items and find the best marketplace for your inventory, but if what you hope to sell is truly valuable, it will be worth the time you spend.
Donating to a thrift store that supports a charity that is close to your heart is a great way to feel good about “giving away” things. Keep in mind that many thrift stores have limited storage capacity. If the storage space is full (which is happening more and more now due to the current downsizing trend) they may turn away certain items or a large donation that will use up that storage area. It’s best to take your donations in smaller loads until you find out the capacity of your favorite drop off site.
Don’t over estimate the value of your items
If something is broken or damaged, it is to your advantage to have it repaired prior to trying to sell it or go ahead and throw it away. If you didn’t like it enough to fix it, what are the chances someone else will pay top dollar for a project? I know that is hard to hear, but it is the reality of the situation.
Unfortunately, many people discover that the items they assumed were valuable are no longer being sought out by collectors and buyers. At best, the item will bring pennies on the dollar for what it cost new. Most silverplate, antique dishware, crystal, collectibles (Hummel, Beanies, and so much more) and less than perfect antiques, all fall into this category. If you have the time and the connections you may eventually be able to find a buyer for some things at a little more than “fire sale”, but if you are in a rush, that is difficult.
Finally, it is hard to admit, but the minute you purchase an item the money is gone. When you bought it, you probably planned on keeping it forever. As things change it is good to remember that you are most likely not going to get a 100% return on your original investment. Nothing you can buy is ever guaranteed to keep its value. Do your best to distribute it responsibly but getting hung up on what you paid vs. what you got is a recipe for stress and disappointment.
Welcome the opportunity to think of things in new ways
Another trap we get caught in is thinking that “I might need it / get to it, one day”. In my own decluttering process, this is one of the hardest habits to overcome. Even though I know I am putting off the inevitable (admitting it is time to get rid of something) it still isn’t easy to let go of the “fantasy” of my future.
Every client I have ever worked with has SOMETHING that fits in this category — and here are a few examples:
• The client who had a piano in her living room because she might get around to learning to play…one day.
• The client who had 15 matching briefcases (no lie) because he liked that style and when he got a new one he made a stack of the old ones because they were still useable and he might need them…one day.
• The client (who am I kidding – many clients) who kept clothes they had not worn in years because they might lose weight, gain weight, or want them again when high waisted bell bottoms and platform shoes come back in style…but will they fit?
In order to be successful, you must get realistic and painfully honest with yourself. Step outside of your thoughts and look at what you are facing. Do you really want to downsize your belongings and live your best life, or do you want to hold on to the fantasy of the past or the future?
Sometimes seeing things differently can help move you forward
The majority of people who successfully downsize begin by changing the way they think about things. When my kids were babies, I started scrapbooks for each of them as well as a separate family book. If you are familiar with the company Creative Memories, you will know that these books were elaborate, cut out, sticker filled, calligraphy laden thick books with pictures, stories, and mementos. I LOVED it. I had a ridiculous number of scrapbooking supplies – paper, stickers, cutting tools, stencils, photos to sort, special archival pens in a rainbow of colors.
When my oldest turned 10, the books became more of a burden than a joy. I was a busy mom of pre-teens. I loved looking back on the memories, but I didn’t have time (or to be honest) the desire to spend so much time and money on documenting those memories. So, I decided I would quit (yes, I said quit and I’m ok being labeled as a quitter in this situation) doing the separate books for each child after their 10th birthday.
I thought I would magically love scrapbooking again once I only had one book, the family book, to do. Wrong. I dreaded ordering the photo prints, sorting them, designing the layout, and adding the embellishments. Before I knew it a few years had passed, and I had not completed even one new family scrapbook. I still wanted to document our family story, so I told myself I would get back to making scrapbooks someday. I was getting stressed seeing all the supplies sitting idle and realizing it was going to get harder and harder to catch up with the years I had missed.
Then I got real with myself. I was likely never going to go back to that type of scrapbooking. So, I made a decision that went against all that was holy (as far as intense scrapbookers are concerned.) I gave away/sold all my scrapbooking supplies – because once those were out of the house there was no turning back – and made a digital scrapbook.
I’ll admit the first digital scrapbook took a little extra time because of the learning curve, but it still took less time than all my other books had taken. Now that I am familiar with the process, I can get each year’s book completed in a matter of days instead of a matter of months.
The gorgeous but time-consuming scrapbooks did not fit my needs or schedule anymore, so I had to ask myself why I was holding on to a hobby I no longer enjoyed. Ultimately, I found a different way to document family highlights while losing the clutter, the stress of seeing unused supplies and the guilt of letting it go.
Be sure to save only the things that your family wants
Ahh…the proverbial “storage unit” dilemma – as if we don’t have enough of our own things that we are storing, the kids want us to keep things that aren’t important enough for them to take with them. I understand that period when they aren’t quite settled into the adult world (in college, living in a small apartment); however, if your kids are grown, they are old enough to at least decide what they want and what they don’t. Don’t fall into the trap of storing things that you assume they are going to want one day.
Do you have a box of 20-year-old artwork from your child’s elementary school days? Choose what you love and when I say love, you love it enough to display it. There is no point in keeping art in a box after 20 years.
Next, ask your child to go through it and either: take what they want or in the case of a “just launching child” agree to store a limited number of items for them until a certain specified date in the future. Do one follow up reminder when that date is approaching and if things are not picked up let them go. It’s a bit of tough love, but it takes away the uncertainty of having an open-ended storage arrangement.
Downsizing is a journey that starts with one small step (which might mean a few small steps to the bathroom to clean out under the sink!) Be kind to yourself and reach out for help from others. Having someone there to gently remind you of your goal and offer an objective on whether an item fits or doesn’t fit into the plan you have for your future may be all you need. You are ready for this! Break down tasks, once you organize something keep it organized, stay consistent and celebrate wins big and small!
You are not alone
If you find yourself stuck, reach out to me for a in person or virtual consultation. I am happy to help you get started or to work with you through the entire process.